kaycie and ciri

hey yall

2008-10-23T23:35:00.000-07:00

so as this was kaycie and my blog, i decided to make one of my own own. so i didnt have to mix in the posts of my life with mine and kc's life..although i seem to think she has abandoned me on our quest to become bloggers. so now i am solo?

check it out its "runninwitscissors.blogspot.com"

it's almost been a month and i still think he's coming back

2008-10-08T01:41:00.000-07:00

so many things are happening so quickly! i got the job that layne always told me to go for and started it two weeks ago. im the visual presentation manager and the banana republic in murray (fashion place mall) the cool thing is it's a full time position so FINALLY i have benefits and can get the ear infection ive had for about two months now looked at. layne would be so proud of me!
i am still finding it hard to function a little. there are a few people in my life that are trying to speed up my grieving process and tell me to just get on with my life already, but i really wish it was that simple. i find myself wandering around the mall in a daze usually on my lunch breaks. remembering silly things that layne and i would go do when i wasnt at work. our favorite place to hit before noon was starbucks and we usually went there twice a week. (depending on how many times i could get him outta bed before 11! haha) at night one found us meeting up at our friend talls or mckays for some video games or just sitting on the couch talking. we would tell each other all the details of the day that we spent apart, trying to get the other to laugh. sometimes he would take me on his motorcycle to the park down the street from my old complex and we would lay there and look at the stars...half the time not even talking. just looking at them. it was with him that i saw my first satalite and on one of these trips that we came up with a plan to start making our own constellations, that way we could memorize them better! sometimes while we layed on the blanket i would get homesick and he would let me cry on his shoulder. when i told him he didnt have to hang out with me so much, his response was "no one should ever be alone." layne was one of the first to ever really figure out my poetry too. he came over one night and i felt bold so read him some of my favorites. he interrupted me once and kissed me. i asked him what that was for and he said i deserved it. he had a way of making me feel like his life and purpose needed me. whatever the plan was for us to meet. it needed to be at that time and in those moments. and whatever we decided in our premortal existance, we must have agreed that he would go away for awhile...(although i must have dozed off in that part of our planning) i wont lie, i still pick up my phone at least once a day to text him. and i am grateful i did save some of the texts that he sent me when he was still alive. ive tried calling him too, and if you were to listen to his voicemails, youd here my hearts confessions. there was something about him, it captivated me. his intelligence, his ideas, his plans...although he left them for me to carry on without him, he will always be with me in spirit.

healing my broken heart

2008-09-14T20:17:00.000-07:00

on september 10, 2008 layne orville colledge passed away from injuries sustained in a motorcycle accident on saturday, september 5.
since i found out, my heart has struggled to believe it. i feel as though im looking at my world through a mirror. i see how i should be functioning...i see how i want my life to be progressing, but the reality is i havent been able to function at all.
today was the viewing and visiting with the family. as we walked into the church there was a line into the room that the casket and the family was in. a table was set up along the wall and it had the flower vases that people had sent the family as well as photos of him growing up. i even saw the vase that i had sent them of the red roses and white daisys (my favorites) there were his senior photos as well as his eagle scout plaque and his hiking backpack and camera box. on the video screen playing was a slideshow of pictures. some that he had taken and then some of his family and him growing up. in most of the scenic pictures, i had been with him and it was so touching to hear people complimenting on his talents.
i was hoping that it would have been a closed casket seeing as the injuries he received in the accident were mostly head. when i saw him there my heart dropped to floor. he looked nothing like the layne i knew. i kept trying to tell myself that it was just his shell...the reason it didnt look like him was because there was no spirit. the bit that made layne layne, was in a much better place. but it still hurt me terribly to think that he was no longer there.
as we traveled down the line of the family, i remembered my granny's funeral not to long ago. where it had been me and my family in a line. of course, there were about 30 of us and the line was much longer than the colledge's, but as i went through the motions of apologizing for their loss, i felt a part of their family too. i had never met his grandparents until this evening and i wish that i had met them earliar on better circumstances. but they said they had heard so much about me and were glad to have met me. kolby his brother, also told me that i was more than welcome at his house whenever i wanted to visit and chat if i needed it.
tomorrow is the funeral...i dont know if i can handle all of this.

we are soooo sorry!!!

2008-09-08T14:21:00.000-07:00

so, we promise that we did not disappear off the face of the earth! the past few months have been so hectic! between kaycie being engaged and not engaged and me me well..well, actually i havent done much.

ill go ahead and give an update of me, and then let her update her.

so, another semester at uvu flew by and still i feel no closer than when i started here a year ago. unfortunately i also decided to change my major and am once again starting at square one. i think the biggest wakeup call for me was when my parents told me that i was a big girl now, and had to do big girl things...chea. whatever that means.
i went home for a week in may to pick up my car and drive it back across country with my grandpa. i spent three days with him on the road and learned some very interesting things about him and older people. probably the most disturbing was that he and my grandmother still have a hot love life, and i will definately never forget that.
once we made it to provo, he was scheduled to stay a few more days with me. on his last day, we drove to salt lake city and visited the conference center for the first time together. it was so cute because he got really emotional talking about the church and its history. and i just love him. we even got to take a few pictures together. after we visited the conference center, we drove around to find the house that he stayed in as a boy for a few months when his father had a hard winter. it was wonderful to drive around with him and his cousins and listen to their southern stories and talk about the things they remembered doing together as families.
when my grandpa left my life fell back into the same rountine it has always been, besides a trip to colorado to work on a ranch for a few weeks. (but that wasnt all that fun)
and then as the summer came to close, all i do is work work work.
i wish i was in school so i would feel less like a bum, but i guess i need to figure out this big girl thing...

a day of nothing and the simple joy of friendship

2008-03-04T22:35:00.001-08:00

so, had you walked into crestwood apartment #304 today around the time of 4:45 pm, you would have wanted to admit us into a mental institute. not only did kaycie and i belt out the reba theme song multiple times in different pitches, but we were sitting side by side (almost on top of each other) with both of our computers in our laps. we were whispering to each other (even though no one else was there) talking to wicked and forcing her to sit on the couch next to us while we belted out more theme songs from random shows and movies...and then as if sudden realization struck me, which it did, i looked at kaycie and said, we are alone. and then we laughed and watched mitch hedburg and other funny comedians...what an eventful evening

how do i love thee? oh let me count the ways.

2008-02-28T16:17:00.000-08:00

Oh ciri...i am so glad we have this blog thing. not that we don't tell each other we love each other constantly or don't snuggle enough. but now we have a new way to express our love. haha. thanks for your first post. it made my night. i read it at Dan's and i was laughing. he wasn't sure why i was...but it was crackin me UP!

so here is my list of why i love you:
-your laugh
-being a mermaid together
-letting me blow you outta the bed almost one early early sunday morning! haha
-letting you blow me up against the wall the following summer.
-you do my laundry
-you think people are shooting at you
-your meatloaf
-throwing things off the balcony
-your feather comforter and mattress pad
-ABUELO
--wooorrrd.
-and oh my love...just so much more.

i love you, i love you, i LOOVVEE you! [think Will Ferrell in Elf.]

our first day as a blog couple :D

2008-02-26T13:28:00.001-08:00

so, after some "nudging" from a friend....and after some well, REALLY good laughs, kaycie and i decided that it was time we jumped on this blogging bandwagon and showed the world how much we love each other! (as best friends of course)

k, me first.

TO: Kaycie
FROM: Ciri

my dearest kaycie...everyday i wake up and there you are! right across the hall from me! being your roomie this year has truly been a blessed experience. it's great to know that when i have nightmares i can just get in bed with you :) and take over. and that sleepovers are every night! being a part of your world out here has made this college away from home more home...y. (you are using my sink to brush your teeth right now...haha, that made me laugh) living with you has made us like, sisters almost...(what is wrong with your sink?) you are just amazing...and beautiful...and wonderful....and lovely....and i wouldnt trade these moments for anything else! moments like throwing things off the balcony, the bsu dances that you sneak me into cause im broke and cant pay, watching reba until 2 in the morning at dan's.. (how you can stay awake that long i have NO idea) doing your laundry (even if you throw it on the floor when its clean...and folded lol) cooking dinner with you, makeovers and photoshoots at 3 in the morning when we just cant sleep, talking about our futures and dreams. i could have never asked for a better friend:)